Let’s Banish Loneliness

You’re moving.  And, you’re moving far from your comfortable 5-mile radius.  In that 5-mile (or less) radius is your grocery store and you know exactly where they keep the brand of ice cream you love.

Your pharmacy where the pharmacist knows all your ailments for the past 20 years and which medicines work best for your ailment.

Your house of worship, why that religious leader knows what you’ve been through as your children we entering young adulthood.

Your mechanic, the one you trust to fix your car, just by listening to it, the proper way and not overcharge you.

Your favorite meeting spot where, as soon as you walk in the door, they are preparing your favorite drink for you without asking.

And your friends, the people you call when you need a ride, someone to chat with, someone to come over and decide which color you should paint the walls to go with your new furniture.

All of a sudden it hits you, you will be without your support system.

Where will you shop?

Where will you meet up with friends?

Where will you find friends?

Holy cow, that can be very scary!

Guess what?  You can fulfill all of these needs at your new home with deliberate social connections.  Get out of the house and start creating new social connections the first day!

Make it your mission to immediately find a new coffee shop that brings a smile to your face when you walk in.

Seek out a grocery store with exceptional service.

Drive by a couple of auto mechanic workshops and have a little chat.

Join a club where you can pursue social connections.

Finally, ReConnect Live with friends and neighbors from your former home, call them.

Moving changes an address, not a relationship.

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ReConnect Live with Family and Long Time Friends.

Here is one of the very best things you can do for yourself, right now, to enrich your life and bring you joy!!  Think about longtime friends who bring joy into your life, think about the ones who make you smile and laugh so much your sides hurt!!!  Have you spoken to them recently?  If not, ReConnect Live with them, today!!  Whether they are family, friends or friends who act like family: reach out and reach out to them LIVE, in real time, no texting.

I don’t want you to text or write an email, ReConnect via live or in-person: make a phone call, Skype, FaceTime, Zoom, etc.   If you had to leave a message and they don’t call you back right away, don’t take it personally, enjoy the conversations you have with the people who do call you back or that do get in touch with you and expound upon those.

What if you called 5 people in a week, for a 10-minute call?  Put your timer on and say to them “I’m just calling for 10 minutes, tell me what’s going on with you and then I’ll take 2 minutes telling you what’s going on with me.”  The following day move on to the next person on your ReConnect Live list. Imagine how enriched your life will be and how many different, life-enhancing subjects and happenings that you will learn about. Perhaps you’ll acquire a different point of view, perhaps you’ll learn some great insights that changes your perspective on your life, perhaps you learn to take care of something. What will happen is you will rekindle your joyful spirit.

If you’re afraid that you won’t be able to think of something to chat about with someone on the fly, take a couple notes on subjects that you want to discuss with them and have a light discussion, nothing heavy.  It can be something like:  did you read about the latest law going into effect? have you seen the color that was chosen as the color of the year? have you decided on what you’re going to do this summer for vacation? did you see what the Housewives did on their latest episode? Respect their opinions without judgment.  Feelings of judgment are the quickest way to shut down or heat up a conversation.

Keep it light or keep it deep?  That depends on your relationship with the person you are speaking with and where you want to take it (or leave it).  Do you want to deepen your relationship or do you want it to be light and fluffy? By keeping in touch with a variety of different people we can be exposed to different points of view.   You wouldn’t speak to everyone about politics, for example.  You shouldn’t speak to everyone about the new color of the year and perhaps you shouldn’t speak to everyone about where you’re going on vacation this year.

I do suggest that you give a chance to people who might want to know what the new color is even though in the past, you generally spoke with them about their child.  Think outside the box, this will help you expand and deepen in that friendship.  Perhaps get together live/in-person to enjoy a cup of coffee, lunch or perhaps a weekend away.  Discuss things that are on top of your brain or the things that are really weighing heavily on your brain, whatever you do reach out!  Talk to people and if they don’t call you back don’t take it personally just move on but keep them in your heart.

Bring joy to yourself and others, make the call!